We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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