just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize