if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
