Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
