Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
