it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize