I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
