the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
