i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just found puke in my bra..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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