She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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