i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
