Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
