Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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