Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
