we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize