My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
