all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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