can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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