I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
