No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
