at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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