But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
