I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize