Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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