Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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