its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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