i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
