Whod you bang
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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