My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
