Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
