I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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