mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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