his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize