Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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