i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
