Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
