sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Little spoons don't ask big questions
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Randomize
