I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She's the barista slut.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize