I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
