His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize