i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
