You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
