i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
