We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
