I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
