your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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