It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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