I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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