9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize