i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
