just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i think im in europe. pls send help
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
