i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
