I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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