Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
