Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize