You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
