Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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