The maid of honor just puked.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
