I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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