I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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