We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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