i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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