Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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(516): View more from New York

ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?

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(289): View more from Ontario

I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.

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(518): View more from New York

I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.

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(904): View more from Florida

I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...

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(917): View more from New York City

Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?

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(707): View more from California

Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom

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