i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
