I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
they need to just BURY HIM!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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