I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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