Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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