Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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