Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
