I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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