True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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