Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
