so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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