Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
