The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
